Karl Schmidt-Rottluff, Akte im Freien - Drei badende Frauen, 1913
Violence does not always take visible form, and not all wounds gush blood.
When you understand, that what you’re telling is just a story. It isn’t happening anymore. When you realize the story you’re telling is just words, when you can just crumble up and throw your past in the trashcan, then we’ll figure out who you’re going to be.
Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
It terrifies you, doesn’t it? It scares the living shit out of you to love someone like her. Someone who is so much of a storm. Some days she’s stronger than you. Most days her voice is louder. She’ll say “no” once and mean it. If you don’t listen she’ll kick you out of her bed and out of her life. Maybe she’ll soften for you, between the quiet hours where the sun is just barely touching the earth, she’ll be all quiet breathing skin and open mouthed caresses. Maybe once in a while she’ll gentle herself into elastic and you’ll press open mouthed kisses to her skin without worrying about the burn. Stop living for those moments where she’s quieter. They’ll be rare. The thing is, most of the time, she’ll be on fire. You’ll have to carry the ashes of your arguments back with you, you’ll have to expect that she’ll fight you and love you at the same time. It’ll feel like loving a hurricane. So maybe, maybe you’re thinking that it’ll be easier if you just left. Maybe you’ll find a better one. Know this: if she asks you to stay, she will do it once. If you slam the door shut behind you she will shrug her shoulders, wrap herself in her own fight and wait for someone strong enough to love her. If you come back, months later, empty handed, she’ll kiss your forehead and shake her head and say ‘not today.’
The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.
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